What you shouldn’t do in Barcelona; the Erotic Museum

Everything you do in Barcelona is fun and extraordinary. Everything but visiting the Erotic Museum. No, I am not an ultra-catholic virgin living in celibacy. And yes, the museum is that bad.

My latest trip to Barcelona was the sixth or seventh. This amazing Catalan city is like a roller coaster, even if you’re going down the hill and think that’s the end of adventures, the city somehow gets you up in the air again and your level of Adrenalin bumps up. Unfortunately it didn’t happen when I went to the Erotic Museum.

I had read about the Erotic Museum before the trip and really thought it could be fun. They sell themselves pretty well on their website. And stupid me, I bought it!

It was a cold sunny winter day and we were wandering through the city all day long. We had just had a lovely lunch in the old bullring adapted for a mall. We felt so amused by the great food and beer and the bohemian spirit of Barcelona that I thought we were in a perfect mood to go the Erotic Museum and have fun. You must understand that I was trying to be a good girlfriend by taking my hard working boyfriend to a fun-ish (and erotic) place. I am aware of the fact that this may sound cliché. But still, I wanted to reward him (and myself) after a hard day in a Web Conference. The truth is that I should have taken him to the nearest bar in La Rambla and drunk our tiredness away instead of visiting the museum.

The Erotic Museum is situated in the heart of La Rambla, close to the Boqueria Market (Mercat de la Boqueria). It’s a huge one floor room with several zones of different exhibits. It all looked great online. When I had been checking the website I even thought, holy shit, I mustn’t tell my mom about it! It all looks so dirty (my mom is kind of prude).

When we got there, I was pretty excited. We paid 10€ per ticket and we got a plastic cup filled with cheap sparkling wine. Long story short, all exhibits were dull and predictable, a few S&M posters, some fallus sculpture, pictures from kamasutra and a few comic porn.

A sex tape of King Alfonso XIII was supposed to be THE GREATEST attraction of all. A TV was set in a dark corner and the porn movie was on all the time. The King Alfonso XIII was known as a skirt-chaser so I was prepared to see the most dirty porn I could imagine – my imagination was on. And I got disappointed! Like a little girl who’s waiting for Santa  and then sees her father putting presents under the Christmas tree. Or should I say King Alfonso XIII wasn’t such a great lover as told.

This huge wooden fallus is the best exhibit of the museum.

Would I recommend it? Hell no! You’d better buy Emmanuelle on DVD.