Or you know, just mix it all together and date a cute local guy.
Well yes, I happened to date Spanish boys. And boy did I learn quite a few things from them.
Just off top of my head:
You are allowed to eat dinner only after 10pm. Actually if we can make it 11pm, even better. And it better be a plate full of whatever-you-have-at-home fried with eggs and chocolate ice-cream.
Eat white bread and potato chips on a daily basis. These calorific carbohydrates are inseparable companions of each meal during the day if spend most of your time with a Spanish guy. The more flavorless and white the bread is, the better. Goodbye thin waist and hello muffin top!
Cola Cao/Nesquik is a must for breakfast. Your age doesn’t matter here. Half a gallon of milk (and don’t you dare buy skimmed milk!) and (too) many spoons of Cola Cao/Nesquik is somehow the best for a grown-up man.
Spanish omelet (so called tortilla de patatas) which basically is made out of deep fried potatoes with onions and eggs, is the most healthy meal you could ever have for dinner according to Spaniards. Or lunch. Or you know, every single meal for the whole week. After the first “what the fuck is your problem” look I was given after having suggested that it might not be very healthy to eat a greasy omelet for a late dinner, I gave up. Just let them live in the dark. High level of cholesterol, who cares?!That is not all, all the Spanish boys were carefully taught by their beloved mums how to make a tortilla. And each of them is more than sure that his is THE BEST one in the world.
Pole hates Russian. I was asked so many times why Polish people hate Russians that I actually started believing it. I am not saying that we LOVE them. It’s not 1980 anymore, Poles are now free to express their rancor without going to a communist jail. Let’s just say that Russians are the last nation in the world that we’d love to make friends with.
Talk about your feelings and expressing emotion doesn’t make you gay-ish. When I was still a kid living in an ex-communist country, I was taught that talking about feelings or anything that is human whatsoever, makes you appear weak. And it’s a waste of time.
But here’s the thing, once you learn how to express your feelings (which actually makes you feel good), you can’t stop. So when I visit Poland I actually have to control myself and not tell random people the reason for me feeling a little blue today. Otherwise they will most probably snap at me with some cheeky riposte.
Latino lover. By dating a Spaniard your family and friends would imagine you going out with a dark skinned, salsa dancing, romantic Latino lover. Spanish, Latino, Italian…. they are all the same for Polish born and raised citizens. And while I talk with non-Spanish friends about Spanish boys, I can SEE that there are kinky questions popping up in their heads, when their eyes start to sparkle. Well, I actually have never bothered to clarify that these are brutally untrue stereotypes. And that Spaniard are “more European” than “Latino”. But well….
Be patient. Spanish boys always arrive late. So it’s better to learn how to be patient because arriving late for a date (or any other place) will happen. A lot.
Never use NO for an answer. No matter what he will ask you for. It’s better to come up with an unrealistic excuse than actually pronounce the word NO. Being straightforward and assertive won’t be seen as strength by a Spanish boy. Even if he asks you to help him killing some little kitties he found in the park, just say “ooh, I’d really love to, but you see… I am allergic to cats” 😉
I didn’t know these things when I dated a Spanish boy for the first time. I learned them slowly, over years of working hard on opening myself to a new culture, costumes and food. And I guess, that’s what makes dating a Spanish boy dating a Spanish boy.