What is the worst thing you can do to me to get under my skin? Feed me with cold food that is supposed to be served hot. I most probably will be suffering from some kind of rare and incurable allergy to cold chilled dishes. I like my food like I like my men, red hot and steamy. And I refuse to accept the opposite.
Quickly proving my point, just off the top of my head – last month horror story. A story of cold food and me getting my revenge, set in a lovely cheery German town.
Let’s back up a little bit: it was a cold long winter day in Munich. The snow and low temperature were killing my feet, hands, feeling befuddled and… oh well, I almost got frozen like a piece of thrown out food left in the snow in Siberia. Apparently Lord Stark predicted it right, Winter has come!
The best my friends could do, at that moment, to bring me back to life, was getting me something warm to eat. I mean, besides the endless amount of Gluhwine (hot red wine with cinnamon, vanilla and citrus) we were pouring in our bodies to keep us from freezing to death.
So just like a group of lost and totally disorientated Japanese tourists, we entered the most touristic (not to mention, the most expensive) place in Munich – “Hofbräuhaus München-Das Original” (why would you do that, you may ask? Well, only because of the greatest German beer they serve there!).
The spot is known for being the heart, the VIP epicenter of every Oktoberfest since the good people of Bavaria “invented” the beer festival in 1810. Unfortunately, as lovely as the place was, its waitresses were real bitches. The kind of bitches who will mix up your order twice, make you wait for the food, 3 rounds of beer (which is approx. 80 minutes) and at the end serve you cold soup.
I mean seriously? The girl that was serving our table must have been a devil in a bitchy German human body.
To be totally honest with you, I think that was the first time in my life when I felt, unexpected urge to snap at a woman. And take revenge on her.
Did I wait for her in a dark corner of the street until she finished her shift and verbally abuse her? Did I fill out an angry letter of complaint to her boss and ask for a free meal every time I would be in Munich? Did I? Well no. I should’ve spoken up for my damn right to steamy hot soup but unfortunately I am not that brave in English yet.
Thanks to Mark Zuckerberg I found a better way to fix the cold soup problem. An angry and negative review with all the details needed to identify the waitress on Hofbräuhaus Restaurant’s fanpage on Facebook. Because nothing pisses off the marketing/PR staff more than unfavorable user feedback on the Internet.
Apparently there were more of us who received bad service there, (I am not surprised!). And I am telling you, it could have been the same waitress. The Result? The Hofbräuhaus Restaurant staff officially (on Facebook) apologized to me, and most importantly I got myself a good story out of it.
Oh right, and being a total lunatic as I am, I’m still awaiting a free VIP pass to the Oktoberfest 2016 as a compensation for the emotional damage.