There is a bizarre “thing” I have experienced lately.
No, I don’t mean my neighbour screaming every morning, who I have never seen in my life (even though we’ve shared a wall separating our apartments for the last 2 years), but I am totally up-to-date with her shitty life and family/love problems. It’s simply disturbing and I just pretend I am deaf when she’s going on and on with her I hate-the-world-and-all-human-beings screaming thing. Mind you, she recently added a punching-all-the-furniture (with her hands and legs) thing to the yelling. I would really suggest she takes some Xanax, or have a bag of Oreos with hot chocolate (and a sip or two of rum).
Anyway, getting back to my “issue”. Here it goes….Every single time I visit Santander in the wintertime I get sunburnt.
Why is that so strange, you may be asking yourself? Well, imagine a place where it’s raining 350 days per year. And during the remaining 16 days it s windy and cloudy. Bingo, that’s Santander, Cantabria.
So it is pretty understandable that an experienced and well-organized traveler, such as myself, would have prepared herself properly to fight against the chilly weather before heading to Cantabria, right? Well, of course! I am Polish, my DNA is programmed for this!
So there I was, in Santander with a luggage full of warm, waterproof clothes and a pair of Hunters, high protein chocolate bars in case of frostbite and general freezing, 2 umbrellas and a poncho. I was ready to get as wet as I have never gotten (it sounds kind of pervy, I just realized!!).
Having said that….Saturday morning, 25 degree Celsius, the sun shining down hard and me sweating like hell in 2 tees, a woolen sweater and a skii jacket. And the boots…the heavy galoshes.
You might be surprised, but it was not the first time. I was having some kind of a strange deja-vu…for the third time. Yep, that is what I am saying…..I was re-living the situation for the third time in the last few years. My personal Groundhog (Cantabrian) Day. But with no Mill Murray on the horizon.
If it had happened to me once, I would have thought, wow, what a luck! But three times in a row just seemed wrong and way too weird.
So why? Why was I getting so lucky in Santander and being rewarded with sunny weather every trip there, but somehow I have never won a single dollar in the lottery (or anything else…not even a beauty pageant for nerdy chubby teenagers)?
After spending hours giving it some thought (yes, I sometimes get pretty bored and have nothing else to do other then rethinking things), the answer was pretty simple, and obvious. The universe wanted to make sure I was having some white wine on the Playa de Sardinero (the loveliest beach in Santander). And shame on me, but it took me 3 trips, too much sweating (due to the amount of clothes I was putting on) and general confusion mixed with anxiety until I resolved the mystery.
So last Saturday I finally understood the clear message from the universe and its travel advice for Santander:
Go to the Playa de Sardinero.
Take your clothes off ( and the boots as well).
Try to forget that the tee underneath the clothes you just stripped down, that has a “fries are yummy in my tummy” thing written on it (that is the kind of t-shirts you get on second sales in Pull and Bear for 1.99USD). But actually, Spaniards won’t notice 😉
Expose yourself to the sun and act as if you haven’t felt a single ray of sun for the last 50 years (murmuring is allowed).
Get yourself a nice glass of white wine in the chiringuito.
Repeat number 5
Repeat number 6
If needed, repeat number 7.
Enjoy the sun, the warm breeze of the Cantabrian Sea, the view of the hot young bodies of random muscular surfers.
Get a sunburn without noticing.
Once your face starts pruning in a funny way, it is time to leave.
Wish the next day would be another Groundhog (Cantabrian) Day. Note: You can try doing some sightseeing in the Old Town (but still, repeating point 1-7 would bring more joy and fulfilment to your life)
Anything else, I have learned from this “lesson”? Yes:
Going back to my way-too-cold apartment in cloudy Madrid with no white wine in there sucks.
But still, the universe kind of loves you!
Personal reminder to my future self: stuff your fridge before taking a trip, dummy!!!