An open letter to President Donald Trump

 

Dear President Donald Trump,

First of all, I want to state that I am an apolitical person. And being honest with you, my blog’s been more of a blur reflexion of myself and how I see the world than a travel blog anyway, I guess.

In general terms, I am not interested in shitty politics at all, I am not a member of any party.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a dumb blond bimbo. My parent paid good money to get me through 2 universities and to get me graduated and learn 3 foreign languages (not to mention my dental braces). I am interested in second & third world’s problems and struggles, and I do keep track of world wide affairs.

 

An open letter to Mr. President Donald Trump
Smart, lettered, eloquent, open-minded, polite. I’m so loveable like Zoe Deschanel’s characters !  Right? 

 

Dear Mr. Trump, I didn’t vote for you. I couldn’t vote for you anyway since I don’t have the great privilege of having an American citizenship. And by the way, thanks God I don’t, because honestly Americans (those from the US, I mean!)  are pretty screwed now.

I live in Spain which has struggled with naming a Prime Minister for almost a year, and is waiting for Span-xit (I probably should patent that name!) of Catalonia and/or Basque Country any time soon.

Let me mention that I happen to be  Polish. And Poland’s current government transformed the country into a Catholic Auschwitz. Yes, I do mind my words, and yes I am serious. And no, I will not elaborate on the subject that makes me frustrated and anxious (and I am out of Xanax right now).

 

An open letter to Mr. President Donald Trump
  You wanna talk Polish politics with me?! 

 

Anyway, Mr. Trump, I just wanted to let you know that you owe me a big bottle of Bison Grass Vodka (Żubrówka), the best vodka Poland has ever produced. So please let your personal bimbo assistant (or whoever does stuff for you while you’re busy offending women and immigrants) get in touch with me so I can give them shipping details. And I really need you to make sure they will send me the original Polish Zubrowka vodka (0,75l), not any cheap, white label substitute.

I understand you may wonder why the hell some random chic from Europe is demanding a bottle of Polish vodka from you, right?

And you probably have the right to get the explanation before spending 100 USD (shipping included).

Well, everything started when a cute twentysomething American student came to my AirBnB apartment. He was doing a research on drag queens exclusion from society in Spain.

Ever since I saw his profile pic on the website, with a pink drink and drunk face, I knew he might be a trouble. Then we met in person. He was a nice, polite young student. So I got tricked and assumed he would be “livin’ la vida loca” in discos, then he would leave some used condoms below the bed and would break a few wine glasses.

Apparently I couldn’t be more wrong…..

Your abrupt victory drove him crazy mad. As you can imagine he was pro Hillary and he actually was very concerned about US politics.

Your victory made the poor thing cry hard. What’s worst, he got an episode of nervous breakdown. And there was no one to ease his mind.

What did he do, you may wonder? He drunk my one and only bottle of Zubrowka vodka to calm down a bit. He took from me the only thing I liked about Poland, the treasure I was keeping for a special occasion or amazing party.

 

An open letter to Mr. President Donald Trump
You, Mr. Trump made him binge drink like a fish!! Shame on you! 

 

Now you know Mr. Trump, you owe me! See what you did?! You left me without my Polish goodie and made a poor US man have the hangover of his life.

So, please just be a gentleman, make me enjoy my Polish vodka and we’re even.

Thank you!
The Tripventurist

 

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